Monday, February 25, 2013

What Language Do You Speak?

I met a woman over the weekend who spoke to me of the 5 languages of love:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Physical touch
4. Gifts
5. Service

She made an interesting observation that most people speak in the language they wish others would speak to them.

For example, if a person gives a lot of compliments, than the language of affirmation is important to them. If the person gives quality time to others, then quality time is important to them. If a person gives gifts to others to express their love, then gifts are important to them, etc.

She mentioned the language that she loves is quality time. That is how she shows her affection, that is what she loves.

I wondered if that rule is hard and fast: you speak the language you desire yourself. So, I thought a lot about it this weekend. (I love things that make me think.)

I enjoy recognizing the strengths and goodness in people and letting them know the positive things I see about them. So, I guess the language of affirming words is the language I speak. But, does that mean it's the language I want to hear?

What do you think? What language do you speak? And do you speak the same language you wish others would speak  you?

For me, I think I might be a little different. I do love words of affirmation now and then  (IF they are sincere) but I really value time more. I love the idea that there are certain people I love to just be with, and they love to be with me. We don't have to shower each other with compliments, or give gifts (although- again- not bad things.) I just love being with them.

Although I tend to offer lots of words of affirmation (because I believe in the power of words, and I really do think we don't hear enough positive things spoken to ourselves- especially by ourselves) I feel so much more love when someone simply says, "I want to be with you." Whether it's sitting by someone at lunch, going to a movie, or even connecting over the phone.

But that's just me.

I know some who are not comfortable expressing themselves verbally, or even socially, so they give gifts to show their love. Others give service. Other give hugs ( I do love a good hug- but, if you're going to hug me, use two arms please. If you're going to do it, do it right. Lol.)

I don't think any language is bad, if real love is behind it. (Anything can be tainted and/or ruined if it is given falsely or their intentions are duplicitous.)

So, I'm curious. What language do you think you speak? Is it the same language you want people to speak to you?


  1. Great post! I echo the importance of affirmations and boosting others. Great to meet you at ANWA, Michelle! :)

  2. Hugging is very hard for me to do. I'm basically an introvert but I come out as the class clown and make those around me laugh. And since I've had too many bad experiences calling someone by the wrong name, I kinda hang back and listen in between cracking those jokes. Is listening a language? If it is, then I'm fabulous at it.

    It was nice meeting you at the conference, Michelle. You're more beautiful in person.

  3. I think I speak all of them. I followed you on Twitter and on here. Tradesies?

  4. Hahaha! I love it! I think you know which love language I speak, Michelle, and you gave me plenty of it this weekend. Thanks for becoming my BFF!