Monday, March 17, 2014

Has it Been Worth It?

Getting published by Deseret Book has definitely been an amazing roller coaster of experiences and emotions. In the past twelve months I've been higher than high, but I've also been lower than low. I mean, low.

I've felt the thrill of the pitch sessions, meetings, and the acceptance. I've had the pressure of deadlines. edits, and expectations. I've felt the fear of rejection and the doubt if I could write another book. I've had women tell me I've inspired them, and I've had one tell me I am a horrible person who needs therapy. That one hurt.

I've been exposed to all sorts of things that I never would if I hadn't written and published a book Most of them good, but some were just plain bad.

A week ago I asked myself if it was worth it.

A week ago I wasn't. I was tired from the promotional trips. I was frustrated at the business end of being published. I felt as though all of my efforts to 'extend my reach' had been in vain, and felt the pressure of meeting the high hopes of my publisher. I felt like I was failing.

Then I had an experience that changed my perspective. I spoke to a group of women at their evening church activity.

My down feelings, coupled with a ten-day long battle with a cold I was losing, caused me to not only doubt my ability to inspire these women, but be inspired myself. When it was my time to speak, I stood in front of these good women and said a silent prayer that I wouldn't tank it. Then I began.

I spoke about the power of perspective--how the way we see ourselves and life is often the problem. I spoke of the things that get in the way of our perspective, and how God's perspective is clear and true. I testified that when we learn to see ourselves, our trial, and life through God's eyes, we will be amazed at the reality of who we are and the purpose of it all. I shared stories and scriptures. They laughed (a lot), they cried, and in the end, they felt inspired and changed.

The beauty of it was that I did too. 

I felt refocused re-energized. My perspective shifted back again to what was important--the message I had to share and the God that I feel who wants me to share it.

God wants His daughters to know they are of worth, that they have great things to do (even though they may not seem that great at the time), that they are stronger than they realize, and are probably doing much better than they realize, too. I believe He wants them to realize the power they have to change their perspective, to conquer fear and doubt, and to be who He knows they can be. He wants them to laugh, to learn, to work, to seek Him, and to feel joy and love. 

As we catch glimpses of ourselves through His eyes, we will be empowered. That is the message I have to share, and that message is all that matters.

I came back to the reason I began to write in the first place. I want to share that message.

So, today I asked myself again if it has been worth it.

And the answer is and unequivocal, Yes.

I've heard it said that great people do great things. I'm not saying that I'm a great person, but I feel like I've worked really hard and accomplished something pretty great. But what made it great wasn't what it was, but the Why.

Sometimes we can set off to do something great and we meet opposition along the way. Most great things don't come easy. You may be pursuing something right now. You might  be discouraged, and you might even wonder if its worth it. In those times, take a moment to go back to the Why. Set aside the stress and fear and go back to the reason you started off with.

Why are you writing what you're writing, doing what you're doing, believing what you're believing. Why did you start down this path?

I bet you'll find that your Why really is worth it.

And if it is then keep going. Work at it, share it, do it, love it, and enjoy it. Because it's worth it.

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